The Futuristic NotSoNormal Adventure
by E. Linnet
Summary: Yet another Jack, Will, and Elizabeth come to the future fic! What happens when they end up in the future? More importantly...what happens when they're forced to live, in secret, in a girl's house? What happens when she takes them to Disneyland? Slight Ja
1. Chapter 1

Swann's Note: Hey there. First attempt at POTC, on popular demand (from Fly Like A Blueberry Pie...I hope I do it justice!). The only warning I've got for you folks is that it hasn't been beta-ed...I'd love it if someone could. I'm also looking for advice on what'll be chapter 3, a cooking adventure. It'd be much appreciated if you dropped a review, I'm all for advice. Also, this is an attempt at humor, I dunno if it's any good...if you don't like it in a review, though, I beg of you, BEG of you to tell me what I could do to improve it...I'm here to please!

Full Summary: Jack, Will, and Elizabeth are sent to the future. What complete chaos will ensue? Slight, teensy bit of JackElizabeth.

Disclaimer: If I owned it, I'd be rich. I'm not rich. In fact, I don't even own the cup I'm drinking tea from, it's my friend's. Point is, all belongs to that little rat-er-mouse.

"You have to."

"Looks dangerous."

"I swear it's not. Look, Elizabeth and Will are already inside."

"I still don't trust it. That…iPody-thing of yours nearly blasted my ears out!"

"That's because you turned the sound up, Jack. And a car is not going to hurt you."

Jack and Em had been arguing for the past five minutes…Em was attempting to force him into her minivan, but he had been persistent.

You see…somehow Jack Sparrow, Will Turner, and Elizabeth Swann had stumbled across her, Emily McIntire, exiting the theater after a midnight showing of Dead Man's Chest. They followed her home like lost puppies, and now she was hiding them from her parents by taking them to her favorite place, which was proving difficult, seeing that the Great Jack Sparrow had a fear of cars.

"What about…that…thing?"

"The seatbelt?"

"Yeah…the…seabelt."

"Seatbelt, Jack. It just helps you stay inside the car. It's so that you don't fall out."

"Fine…I'll try it. But if it…I dunno, turns into Davy's said beastie, I get to run."

"Of course, Jack. Now, just get in."

"AH! IT'S HOT!" Jack practically screamed as he touched the metal on the seatbelt.

"Hmm, I wonder why. It's only 105 degrees outside." Elizabeth said, pulling her own on.

"That may be the case Lizzie, but it still looks exceedingly dangerous." Jack said.

"Has it swallowed me yet? No. Get _in_." Elizabeth now looked genuinely annoyed…it had happened a lot since _the incident…_

"Well, the beastie wasn't after you, as you _so kindly_ reminded me on the Pearl, luv." Jack replied with a smirk.

Will looked like he was about to stick his tongue out at Jack.

"Well, I…I….the circumstances were completely-!" Elizabeth tried futilely to protest.

"No need to speak, luv. I think that you've already gone through all the stages of denial. Anger, sadness…" Jack's gold tooth was now completely visible as that "infuriating smirk" broadened.

"Oh, shut up."

"Why?"

"Because."

"Because…?"

"Because you look far too good for your own good, or anyone else's, for that matter. Plus the fact that you're a pirate, you're despicable, you're obsessed with rum, you're arrogant, and you're….you're…you're just completely awful and…and dirty! And that bloody compass doesn't bloody work!" Elizabeth looked ready to strangle him.

"Still doesn't work, then? Seems you're still in denial…" Now Jack was completely smiling and almost laughing, though something else betrayed the façade in his eyes.

"Oh, will you two stop being such…children? We're nearly there, anyway!" Em said.

"Where exactly are we going?" Will finally asked, gritting his teeth.

"Oh, you'll see, Will….you'll see…"

"Welcome to Disneyland!" Em shouted, throwing her arms out and breathing in deeply as they entered the magical theme park.

"Disneyland?" Jack asked suspiciously, looking around.

"Disneyland." Em confirmed, leading the way into the park.

"So…this is where we were heading? You took us on a two hour drive in that gigantic…machine for _this_?" Jack asked, reluctantly following.

"Oh, Jack, stop being such an idiot! I'm positive that it's a delightful place!" Elizabeth insisted.

"It's that optimistic thinking got you a compass that's broken, luv." Jack's smirk returned.

"Jack Sparrow, I am going to strangle you until you're beady little dreadlocks pop off!" Elizabeth looked ready to do just that as she quickened her pace behind Em and Will, who remained oblivious.

"Thanks for the sentiment, luv. S'not _my _fault that my compass points to yours truly…and it's Captain, Captain Jack Sparrow." Jack's smirk, if possible, widened as he looked suddenly delighted.

"I knew it! Jack Sparrow, I'm going to help her strangle you until you beady little, black, infuriating eyes pop out!" Will had spun around, walking backwards, looking murderous.

"Really, mate, thanks for the niceties, and my eyes are brown." Jack insisted, smirk faltering slightly.

"Will you three _shut up_?" Em finally asked from the front of the group.

"'Fraid not." Came Jack's reply.

"No! He kissed my fiancé!" Will said, turning back around

"He's being the despicable pirate that he is! And Will, I did that for you're safety!" Elizabeth half-shouted.

"Don't pretend you didn't enjoy it, luv…" Jack was now officially giving her his winning smile.

"OH, YOU-!"

"SHUT UP! Thank you. Now that we're all calm, I would like to present you THE one and only…Hollywood Tower of TERROR!" Em said, gesturing to the haunted-hotel ride that she had the displeasure of riding when she was eleven.

"Looks like a torn-up version of the Pearl when they mutinied…only it's a building, obviously." Jack said, twirling a little bit of his mustache around his finger as he surveyed the ride.

"Are those really people screaming?" Will asked, somewhat calmed.

"Oh, yes, Will. Screams of terror from being on a runaway elevator in a haunted hotel…" Em said quietly, her eyes darkening at the very mention of the Tower.

"Frightening. Shall we go on?" Elizabeth said confidently, leading the group to the entrance.

"Oh, I'll just stay behind…" Em said, pushing Jack forward, smirking.

Elizabeth just gave her a dubious look, but proceeded through the entrance.

"That…was…bloody…brilliant!" Jack slurred, barely being able to walk as he held up his pointer finger gesturing vaguely to the ride.

"I must agree with you on that!" Elizabeth could barely talk…she had almost lost her voice from screaming so much.

Will walked along, petrified, not even trying to flatten his hair that was sticking almost straight up.

"So, what did you think?" Em asked expectantly, holding back a laugh as Elizabeth steered Jack in the right direction.

"Good…very good. Though I'm dizzy, and I felt like my face was about to fall off when we went down." Jack said, regaining his composure and grinning insanely.

"I'm loosing my voice…but it was positively brilliant! Will, did you see the ghosts at the beginning? And then the portrait when we were waiting in line! It all seemed so real!" Elizabeth said, grinning like Jack.

"Will, you looked like you've seen a ghost." Em said innocently while Will just nodded.

"Remind me to never go on an elevator or watch The Twilight Zone again…" Was all Will said as he followed them, zombie like (the hair didn't help the matter) to lunch.

"So, here's the menu, just look through it and order what you think you would like." Em said, handing a menus out at their table at Sebatin's, one of the most fancy lunch/dinner restaurants in California.

"What's that?" Jack asked, taking a small handful of caviar and popping it in his mouth.

"Says it's caviar…these aren't bad, actually." Elizabeth said, dishing herself up a little bit.

"What is it?" Will asked, examining a piece (his zombie state was gone, even though his hair was still a bit messed up).

"You really want to know?" Em asked, a smile creeping on her face as she reached for the calamari.

"'Course." Came Jack's reply as he continued to stuff his mouth with it.

"Fish eggs." Em said, biting into a piece of calamari.

Will, Elizabeth, and Jack all got identical looks of disgust and slowly dropped their forks and (in Jack's case) hands.

"Oh." Jack said, his lip twitching.

A few moments passed as Jack and Elizabeth stared at their meals as though they were poison and Will ate as though he hadn't in hours (which he hadn't). Finally, Jack broke the silence by pointing to the calamari that Em was still eating.

"And I suppose that that's rattlesnake, eh?" He asked, smiling slightly.

Elizabeth and Em both raised their eyebrows.

"You'll never go near calamari again…" Em warned, biting into another piece.

"Tell me." Jack persisted, examining a large piece that he had plucked out of Em's hands.

"It's squid."

Jack dropped it with a slight yelp and pushed it away from him, muttering about terrible leviathan beasties and how they should be left in the depths permanently while Will, Elizabeth, and Em chuckled.

"Welcome to the one, the only-!"

"Cut to the chase, Em. As long as it's not an elevator, I'm in." Will said, pinning down his hair determinedly.

"Alright, then!" Em said, resembling Jack too much for anyone's liking, "Welcome to California Screamin', Mr. William Turner."

"California Screamin'?" Jack asked, eyeing the rollercoaster warily.

"Yep, the horri-eh…wonderful pride of California Adventure, Captain." Em said, throwing a discrete glance at Elizabeth. She took that look to mean only one thing…

"I feel ill." Will said, stepping drunkenly off of the rollercoaster. Sure enough, his face was a sickly shade of green from going upside down, and his hair was sticking up in all directions despite the pins.

"Pride of the Adventure California…" Jack said. Then he stopped when Elizabeth giggled, looking puzzled, "I mean…pride of California Adventure, that is."

Em just smiled, "I see that you enjoyed yourself…what did you think of going upside down? Quite interesting, isn't it?"

"Oh, yes…I felt like I just drank five bottles of rum afterward, though…could barely walk." Elizabeth said, plopping down on the bench next to Jack.

"Really? I always feel like that…" Jack said, earning another giggle from Elizabeth.

Will broke the comfortable silence, his hair still sticking out in all directions.

"Em, any idea where the loo is?"

See that little review button down there? Eventually, curiosity will get the better of you, and you won't be able to resist clicking on it.


	2. The Shopping Adventure

Swann's Note: Hey there. A special thanks to all my reviewers (I'm so lazy...I'm

not even putting the names down ;), and a special, special, SPECIAL thanks to

Fly Like A Blueberry Pie for being my wonderful beta, AND adding this fic to

their faves! You rock!

Also, if you could drop a review, tell me what you did/didn't like about this

chappie/fic in general. I know that this chapter's considerably shorter than the

first...you likey?

Disclaimer: A peice of chewing gum recently informed me that I don't own POTC.

That peice of chewing gum also informed me that I am in no way, shape, or form,

going to inherit the Hilton's fortune. You know what else? That SAME piece of

chewing gum informed me that chewing gum can't talk. Hmph.

"Time to go SHOPPING!" Em shouted up the stairs. Her parents were on yet another

errand…so she was going to get her "company" used to clothes shopping…after all,

some fan girls had already tried attacking…

"'S too early…" Jack groaned as Elizabeth and Em went into Jack and Will's room,

shaking them awake. They were sharing the bunk bed in the guest bedroom…it was a

little less then comfortable.

"Jack, get up." Elizabeth said, poking him in the side. Hard.

"Good Lord, Lizzie, I didn't need to use my intuitive sense of the female mind

to get that much out of it…" Jack said as Will tried and failed to comb his hair

(some of the pins from the rollercoaster incident were still imbedded there).

"Welcome to Charlotte Russe, Liz." Em said, letting Elizabeth, Jack, and Will

pass in front of her into her favorite store ever. The music blared the minute

they entered…the more Elizabeth looked at the clothes, the look of disgust on

her face grew.

"What's this? Is that a skirt? It's two inches long!" She exclaimed, holding up

a "short" skirt that actually fell a little above her knees. Jack looked as

though, if he wasn't Captain Jack Sparrow, would die of happiness right there.

Will, on the other hand, was busying himself looking a the spiked high heel

shoes.

"Liz, it's called a miniskirt. We're not in eighteenth century Caribbean

anymore, remember?" Em said, finding Elizabeth's size and adding it into the

large pile of clothes she was holding for Elizabeth to try on.

"Is this a skirt?" Jack asked, holding up a tube top, confused.

"Jack, that's called a tube top. So, no, it's not a skirt." Em replied, smiling

slightly. It certainly was interesting shopping with pirates…

"Brilliant." Jack said, smiling winningly and shoving it into Em's pile of

clothes. Elizabeth just looked at him, disgusted.

"You are the most-" She started, only to be cut off by Em, who was already

busying herself with Will in the shoes.

"Look at these! They'll match that tube top and skirt perfectly!" She was

holding up a pair of sandals with three inch heels.

Elizabeth groaned. "They're five inches tall!"

"Exactly the point, luv…exactly the point." Jack said, smirking, as he examined

the heels.

"I still think that it's disgraceful." Elizabeth said, pouting slightly, as they

made their way to Nordstrom for Will and Jack's clothes. She was wearing a

"short" skirt, a short sleeve shirt with a skull on it, and the three inch

horror heels. Will and Jack had both looked ready to faint when they saw her,

and Will was still rather white and looking straight ahead determinedly.

"It's not disgraceful. It's fashion." Em insisted, leading the way down the huge

mall.

"Be grateful it's not a corset, luv. I don't think that we want a repeat of that

incident, or do we?" Jack asked from behind, smirking.

"Jack, remember that proposition that I made a while back?" Elizabeth asked

innocently, grinning.

"Which one, luv? I personally preferred the one back on the Pearl, when you said

curiosity would get the better of-"

"No…Jack, I mean the proposition about me strangling you until you're dreadlocks

popped off." Elizabeth interrupted through gritted teeth while Will kept

resolutely looking ahead and Em burst into laughter.

"Ah…we're here."

"It's…"

"Bright? Colorful?"

"Red."

"Yes, Will, it's red."

Em had been attempting to force Will into a bright red t-shirt, while Jack was

examining a tie curiously.

"Will, you're going to wear it." Em persisted, shoving him into the dressing

room with a pair of jeans and the shirt.

"But it's…red!"

"Will…."

"Fine."

As Will shut the door to the dressing room, Jack held up a silver silk tie to

Em, eyeing it warily.

"This goes around you're neck?" He asked, holding it up as though it were about

to choke him, "You're sure this isn't some type of…evil choker of doom….or…or a

rope?"

"Jack, it's fine. It just ties around you're neck, and it won't choke you….and

no, it's definitely not an evil choker of doom, believe me, my dad wears them

all the time…with a suit, Jack, not a t-shirt. We're just getting t-shirts

today…nothing too fancy." Em said wisely as she and Elizabeth examined the

shirts.

"Ha! Jack, try this…" Em handed Jack a navy blue t-shirt, "And…this! That's

perfect!" With a pair of tan Bermuda shorts. Jack complied stepping into a

dressing room just as Will stepped out.

"See? I told you red looks awful…" He insisted, picking nervously at the bright

red tee he was wearing.

"Will, believe me, that looks simply dashing." Elizabeth insisted, nodding her

head and smoothing down her skirt assuredly.

"Oh…okay. Fine. But these are…jeans, right? Very comfortable, I must say." Will

said as he walked back into the dressing room.

"So?" Jack asked expectantly a few minutes later once everyone was changed and

out of the store without much trouble (the woman at the counter had insisted

that Elizabeth and Will looked so like Orlando Bloom and Keira Knightely that it

was scary).

"So what?" Elizabeth asked, following Em to a small hair studio.

"So, what do we do now?" Will asked for Jack, looking in the window of a sword

shop.

"We go and make you…modern." Em said, opening the door of a place called

Jonathon's.

"Oi! I'm keeping the dreadlocks! I got them back in Tortuga!" Jack whined as a

hairdresser insisted that the dreadlocks had to come off.

"Fine. Can you just…I dunno, do something with his hair? And that bandana…"

Elizabeth said, twirling one dreadlock around her finger disdainfully. She'd

already had her hair done-a few inches cut off and the classic Jonathon

curl/layered cut.

"You know you like it, luv." Jack said, smirking at her.

"Oh! You're despicable!" Elizabeth said as she stalked off, leaving the poor

hairdresser to deal with Jack's infamous dreads.

A few hours later, Jack was still in place with his precious hair (earning a few

odd looks), when Em announced they would be going to Sephora.

"Sephora. What is Sephora?" Elizabeth asked, following Em to a huge store with

black and white tiles and blaring music.

"Only the biggest, best make-up store in all of California, Liz." Em said,

opening the doors and greeting the associate at the door with a small nod.

"You mean…" Will gestured vaguely to Jack's widened, kohl-lined eyes.

Em nodded primly, "Now, you boys be good, we'll be two hours at the least. I

need to find Liz some perfume and eye shadow."

"Oi! Lizzie, what do you think of the name of this?" Jack asked from behind

Elizabeth at the perfume counter. As she read the name of the perfume, her eyes

nearly bulged out of her head.

"EM! I'M GONNA PUT A LAWSUIT AGAINST WHOEVER NAMED THIS PERFUME!" She

half-screeched over the blaring music.

"Why would that b-Ah. I see." Em said, smirking as she saw Brittany Spears'

latest perfume: i>In Control: Curious. /i>

A few minutes later, while a make-up artist was giving Elizabeth tips on how to

blend eye shadow, Jack sauntered over, holding a sample of Smashbox's newest

eyeliner.

"Do you see a difference in the eyes?" He asked, examining his left eye in Em's

compact mirror, ""Cause the left eye is the original I got back in Tortuga, and

the right one is…er….Smashbox."

Em had to restrain herself from A: fainting dead away, and/or B: bursting into

maniacal laughter.

"Uh…yeah. I think that if you're going for the sharper look, you should get the

Smashbox. If you want a more smoky, dull look you should stick with the

original." The artist that had been working on Elizabeth said, as Em went into a

long coughing fit and Elizabeth looked as though she wished to die right then

and there.

"Will!" Em shouted, catching Will's attention, who had just sprayed himself in

the face with the Marc Jacobs perfume and was blinking rapidly, nearly knocking

down a shelf in the process, "You spray it away from you!" i>Good Lord /i>, she

thought as she began to explain to Will how to work a perfume bottle, i>What have

I gotten myself into/i>

I don't really know if I did the Sephora part justice...I'll definetly take any

ideas for chapter three, too. The whole rest of the fic, for that matter.

If you're curiosity didn't get the better of you last time, it will now. Go on,

click on the little review button...you know you want to...


	3. Burnt Popcorn and a Mashed Potato Room

Swann's Note: Heya! Sorry 'bout the long update…this chappie took me AGES to finish. Hope that you like it, it's not my best, and I'm planning on re-writing it 'cuz it's so short. Once again, MANY thanks to my wonderful beta, Fly Like A Blueberry Pie. Go check out her fics….they're wonderful! Also, apoligizing PROFUSELY about last chapter's complete mess-up in formating...hope that it didn't bother you too much.

Disclaimer: You really have to rub it in, don't you? For the record, I don't own it. Never have, most likely never will. God knows that EVIL things would happen if I did…Mwahahahahahahah-! (coughchokesplutter) I REALLY gotta work on that evil laugh…

"Jack, Will, Elizabeth…I need you to cook dinner." Em said, picking up her purse and keys as she began to walk out the door, "Supplies are in the fridge…cook anything you want, just make sure it's somewhat…edible. It needs to be done by seven, when my parents get home. Use the phone and dial this number-" She gave Will a small piece of paper with her cell phone number on it, "-When you're done. They'll be back at seven o'clock sharp, got it?"

"Erm…Em…where are you going?" Elizabeth asked, fidgeting nervously.

"Down to meet my friends at the restaurant I took you guys to…then shopping. I'll be back in a while, don't worry…just be careful and stay out of sight!"

And with that, the poor pirate's slightest hope for any type of help disappeared as Em walked out the door.

"So…anyone know how to cook?" Jack asked, looking at them

"Of course! We'll fix something up in no time." Will said, tying back his hair and opening up the freezer, "What do you think I ate all those years in the blacksmith shop?"

"…And then I believe that you blend it on high. Suppose this is the blender, then?" Will asked, poking the blender curiously.

"Guess so, mate." Jack said from where he was at the ironing board. He was in the process of pressing grilled cheese sandwiches with the iron.

"So…I suppose that we can blend the mashed potatoes without a lid, then?" Elizabeth asked, looking at the mashed potatoes that were sitting in the blender suspiciously.

"'Course you can!" Jack said cheerily, whipping off his flowery apron with a flourish (Will had an apron with hearts on it…Elizabeth got a normal white one.)

"You sure it won't…blow up the kitchen, or something?" Will asked, looking at it skeptically.

"Positive. Turn it on!" Jack gestured to the blender, which Elizabeth cautiously approached as Jack returned to the ironing of the grilled cheese sandwiches.

She pressed the button.

And they were showered by mashed potatoes.

"Bloody…stupid..ARGH!" Jack shouted, dropping the iron on his bare hand as he attempted to duck for cover. The iron went flying as he threw it over his shoulder, coming unplugged, landing on Will's bare forearm.

"AAAHHH!" Will screamed, the pitch rising as he tossed it out of his hands and mashed potatoes splattered on his face.

"Turn…the bloody….thing…OFF!" Jack shouted, his words slightly muffled as he ducked half-way into the pantry to avoid the demonic flying potatoes.

"Well, I can't reach it!" Elizabeth shouted back as she narrowly missed a huge chunk of potato, which proceeded to lodge itself half in Will's face, half in his hair.

"Well, then hit it with something!" Will shouted, throwing her the iron. Elizabeth juggled it for a minute, giving enough time for another flying potato to lodge itself on her shoulder. Finally, she managed to toss it at the blender, hitting the off button, which died immediately.

"Well…" Jack said, pulling a chunk of potato out of his dreads and tasting it, "Guess that the blender's ruled out, innit?"

Will, who was wiping potatoes out of his eyes with one hand, clasping a burn on his arm in the shape of an iron in the other, glared.

"…And _then_ it says that you put it in that contraption…" Jack said, gesturing with his un-burned hand to the oven, "…and bake it for forty-five minutes, savvy?"

Elizabeth eyed the oven warily. They were supposed to be baking chocolate chip cookies, after having succeeded with the main meal (they ordered pizza).

"Want me to put it in, Elizabeth?" Will asked from behind the two, an ice-cold rag wrapped around his iron burn.

"No, Will, I assure you…I can handle it." Elizabeth determinedly, placing the cookies into the oven.

One hour later….

"Lizzie, what about the cookies?" Jack asked, not tearing his eyes away from the cartoon they were watching, Dora The Explorer.

"Oh, no…"

Will and Jack followed Elizabeth into the kitchen, to the oven. She opened up the door and leaned in, her hair catching on the sides.

When she emerged, the ends of her hair were slightly blackened and she had some black cookie crumbs on the end of her nose. In her pot-holder covered hands, she was holding a tray of scorched, completely black chocolate chip cookies.

"Oh bugger." Jack muttered, eyeing the cookies.

"My sentiments exactly."

"Popcorn. We won't kill ourselves doing this…I hope." Elizabeth said, popping the bag of popcorn into the microwave.

"I dunno…looks dangerous, luv," Jack said, Will nodding in agreement. In the midst of it all, Jack, Will, and Elizabeth hadn't even bothered to remove the potatoes from their hair…it was actually a very odd sight.

"So…one minute…there!" Elizabeth punched in the one minute on the microwave.

One minute later…

"Not good! Lizzie, how high did you put the microwave on for?" Jack asked as he heard some odd noises from the microwave.

"I put it on the highest level!" Elizabeth said defensively, cowering slightly behind the counter.

"Oh, this is just brill-" Will's words were cut off as the front of the microwave flew off, and sent pieces of burnt popcorn flying everywhere.

Em walked through the door to be faced with three extremely angry pirates and the biggest mess she had ever seen.

The kitchen…was well beyond repair. It was covered with mashed potatoes, something that looked suspiciously like soot, burnt popcorn, pepperoni, and some orange soda, and a broken blender and iron.

The three pirates in front of her, however, looked possibly worse.

Elizabeth's hair was burned at the ends, something that looked suspiciously like soot was on her nose, she had potatoes covering her new DKNY shirt, and she smelled of orange soda, popcorn, and burned hair.

Will's hair was almost sticking straight up, he had a burn in the shape of an iron on his arm, and his heart-y apron was burned to a crisp. She could've sworn that she saw his hair smoking, and his left eye was twitching convulsively.

Jack's flowery apron was singed, partially on fire at the hem, his hair was frizzed, a large red iron shaped burn was on top of his right hand, and he had large chunks of potato in his hair, a piece of popcorn was stuck half-way under his bandana, the kohl around his eyes was smudged, and Em would have laughed except for the fact that they looked murderous.

"Where's. The. Bloody. Monkey?" Jack gritted out, staring at her.

Em couldn't contain it. She burst into a fit of giggles.

Swann's Note: Yeah, short chapter…I've only got a couple of ideas for chapter 2. Also, kudos to you peeples that recognized where I got the ironing grilled-cheese sandwiches thing. :D lol.

Curiosity. You're going to want to review. One day, you won't be able to resist…


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